10 Best Jokes from Comedy Central’s Roast Battle: According to Jeff Ross
Written by James Lange
With the first season of Comedy Central’s Roast Battle over; Jeff Ross recently expressed the 10 jokes he thought were the best from the 1st season. The comedians battling it out onstage held nothing back, no subject was too personal, no topic too taboo. If you want to know more about what a Roast Battle is head on over to our blog post to find out more!
Jimmy Carr, about Christi Chiello
“I was going to talk about Christi’s career, but it’s like trying to punch fog, there’s nothing there. There are ISIS sleeper cells with higher profiles. I looked her up on the internet and google said, ‘me either’”
Carr (a very well-known British comedian) left Chiello dazed, and she never recovered. Carr took Round 1 sending Chiello home to lick her wounds.
Sam Morril, about Steve Rannazzisi
“From a scale of one to ten, I’m going to give that a ground zero, Steve”
While this may sound like a joke about 9/11, it is but not the way you might think. To those that didn’t know Rannazzisi lied about escaping the Twin Towers in the 9/11 attacks. While many in the audience as well as the judges knew about this lie, the verbal knock-down came as no surprise. Morril scored a solid hit and Rannazzisi had to pack up after losing in round 1.
K. Trevor Wilson, about Olivia Grace
“Olivia, you’ve had so many old comics in you, your pussy’s called the Friars Club”
With Grace in a wheelchair (from a leg injury), Wilson held nothing back. Ross reflected about the joke saying it was “super-mean” and yet “showed a respect for traditions”. Grace was knocked out by Wilson in the first round.
Mike Lawrence, about Ralphie May
“Ralphie’s going through a divorce. It says a lot that your wife would rather take half your money now, when she can just wait 3 months to get all of it.”
Ross said of the joke “it was a show stopper, it paralyzed Ralphie” adding “I know Ralphie and his wife and that one cut deep”. Hiding the fat joke inside of a divorce joke was like a left, right combo move that left May knocked out of the competition.
Sarah Tiana, About Sam Morril
“Oh Sam, you made so many old jokes on me tonight. And, that’s true, I am old enough to be your mother; and just like your biological mother, in about 5 minutes I’m going to never think of you again.”
This battle came down to a one-joke sudden death. “She expertly turned his comments against him, and that’s why she advanced” said Ross. Morril played the age card the whole battle and in the end it cost him the round.
Tony Hinchcliffe, About K. Trevor Wilson
“You look like you use the n-word. And that word is nom nom nom nom nom.”
Ross said of his protégé Hinchcliffe’s line “it’s an edgy premise leading to a silly punchline”. Hinchcliffe dressed as a knight for this battle was told by Ross “you better up your game after squeaking by Normand in the last round”. He did just that tasking some plays from Ross’s “roasting playbook”. However, upping his game didn’t help him in this battle.
K. Trevor Wilson, about Tony Hinchcliffe
“I just want to say, yesterday, Tony battled Mark Normand, and he made a joke about Tony hitting his girlfriend. And I want to say that is not true. That is bullshit. Tony never hit his girlfriend… Faggots don’t have girlfriends.”
This was a huge blow to Hinchcliffe as he barely got by Normand in the previous round. Ross commented “I loved how he used the tournament style to his advantage by calling back a previous roasters harshest jokes.” This call back from Wilson secured his victory sending Ross’s protégé back home.
Earl Skakel, about Jimmy Carr
“Jimmy every time I see you, I expect to see David Beckham around you, because you’re such a posh cunt.”
Carr was the favorite to win this competition, however the overly verbose Carr was bested by a very simple yet blunt joke. Ross pointed out “the less words, the better in a roast joke”. Carr was knocked out sending him back to the U.K. as his BREXIT failed.
Earl Skakel, about K. Trevor Wilson
“K. Trevor’s favorite soda is ginger ale. Not because he’s a redhead but because he leaves every girl in Canada dry.”
This was a battle for third place and the Canada dry joke was the one that the judges remembered. Earl took third place in the tournament. “It’s a smart joke, but it isn’t a thinker” said Ross about the about the verbal punch. He went on to add “Skakel had such a gross, vivid punch line that it countered any cuteness that came with the wordplay”.
Mike Lawrence, about Sarah Tiana
“People are asking me tonight if I’m going to put Sarah in her place. She’s a 38-year-old woman in comedy, there isn’t one.”
Lawrence won the round and the tournament putting Tiana in second place. Ross called the line a “haymaker punch line” adding, “the clever bit was that it turned the tables and had Lawrence playing the feminist card, taking the goodwill that Tiana had going into this away from her”. Ross doesn’t think Lawrence’s assessment was correct, but it rang true. Concluding “it sure was funny, and this was why he won the whole thing”.