I was born in a hospital. I celebrated Thanksgiving with turkey, Christmas with ham and Easter with candy.
I got into trouble a lot in High School but there’s no reason to go into the details as they were pretty much summed up in the movie SLC Punk. Just like every other suburban youth that grew up during the 1990’s punk/ska revival. I’m still waiting on the residuals.
I graduated from a state college, got married, lived in a studio apartment for a year, then upgraded to a one bedroom (with less square footage but one extra door). I have a cat, a dog, 2 cars, one car payment, and a half paid student loan.
Most of my family dies a nobody, well into their 70’s or 80’s of “natural causes”, after they’ve spent up what little money they’ve saved. I have a little bit of Indian in me. Not sure what tribe. My family-line is littered with alcoholism, has a handful of religious nuts, a couple of gays and just enough molestation to keep us humble.
Not one person in my lineage has ever captured the “rags to riches” American Dream. We’ve ranged from upper lower class to middle middle class and everything in between.
I am an apple pie in the back of a pickup truck driven by an obese banjo player drinking a Budweiser.
In other words, I’m just like you.
The only major difference between us is that I’m really fucking funny in front of a crowd.
Because of that, I continue to be paid to tour the country making people just like you and I laugh. I have had the opportunity to tour with Robert Schimmel, Jo Koy, Larry Miller and all by myself headlining clubs like Crackers, the Funnybone, and the Comedy Underground. I have performed for the troops in Afghanistan. I was the voice of “Frank the Penguin” on the Good Luck Chuck DVD and have been heard on many radio stations throughout the country. I co-created the series “Messed Up Missionaries” for the Turner website SuperDeluxe.com. I have shared the stage with too many comedy greats to waste your time naming. I’ve been told by various strangers that I am their favorite comedian. And I am one of the comedians that other comics stop to watch. Those are some of the many things I have accomplished WELL before my 30th birthday without having the advantage of any major TV exposure.
Here are some things comics more accomplished than I have told me…
“I don’t know what ‘it’ is, but you’ve got ‘it’” – Larry Miller
“You’re gonna leapfrog in this business, I don’t know what this shit is [referring to the middle act] but what you’re doing is something special. You need to be headlining” –Kevin Pollack
“That bears joke is brilliant.” – Drew Carey
“I bring you on the road because not too many comedians make me laugh, but you crack me up” – Robert Schimmel
“How am I supposed to follow that?” – Jo Koy