Written by Gary Miller
Christmas® is a wonderful time of year. Some people in warm climates have never heard of Christmas® and celebrate The Holidays because the bible says that if you can’t handle snow you can’t have a Christmas®. The festival of green and red colors drown out the gloom coming from the barrage of misery that is winter. The brutal cold is made bearable by the coming of Christmas®.You have to earn a Christmas® through blood, sweat, and egg nog. People across America are preparing by decking their halls, checking under their beds for monsters, and the American Woman (Homo Sapien Americanus Womanus) are preparing for their egg laying on Easter© by preparing the natural aphrodisiac of milk and cookies to lure Santa into impregnating them with his gifts. The presents are placed in the womb and then they gestate into an egg that is either hard boiled or Cadbury™ Creme, depending on whatever it chooses to identify as.